Traffic in Smart City: Sadakchhap Act

This morning i got into an argument with a random stranger on the road. I usually don't do that - being a non-confrontational person. I was crossing the road at Santosh hall, Singhgad road and one fellow on a motorcycle while jumping the red signal, almost ran me over! I raised my hand - half to stop him and half to slap him - as he rode past me without me even touching him. Luckily, his ego got bruised that someone actually raised hand at him and he came back to 'teach me a lesson'. During the argument he was more interested in invoking my mother and sister & how i dared to raise my hand, instead of talking about how he broke the signal, and ran over a pedestrian. This went on for 60 seconds - the time he would have spent at the signal anyway! 

While walking home i thought of usual traffic nuisances and solutions to some of them. Do add more... Since 100 cities are gunning for the funds of Smart City, it affects us all!! Proposing the Sadakchhap Act - 


a. Signals. We are IT power, aren't we? Most XII class students want to be engineers. Let us use that brain power to design more efficient signal systems. I hate those who break signals as much as i hate jaywalkers. Probably i hate the motorists more. We have surplus CCTV cameras. Let us get those with good resolution and start sending challans to offenders. They better pay up, or they have to pay interest on the fine. Better still, confiscate their vehicle. 

b. Public transport. Clearly it is not possible to have public transport that is not crowded. At least in peak hours. But surely school buses, buses of IT companies can be hired by the municipal corporation for peak hours. If there is a will, there is a way. 


c. Cant say enough about signals... Those who speed at yellow light can get away with a penalty. But those who run red lights, should be fined heavily. As much as drunk driving. 


d. Pedestrians safety. At all signals there should be a 20-30 sec green only for pedestrians. All vehicular traffic should stop and only those crossing roads should be allowed for these 20-30 secs. 


e. Jaywalkers. Indians love the road. We have collective sub-conscious memories of walking on the roads in villages and towns where we come from. We love the road so much that even if there is a footpath, we prefer to walk *on* the road. Should those who walk on roads when there are footpaths, be penalised? Nominally? Especially those who walk on roads where ramps are made, or those jumping over dividers. 


f. Footpath reclaim. First the municipality must gain control over the footpaths. Shops, squatters, large dustbins and about to be legalised shanties - all should be removed. Find them another place to do their business. But please free up the footpath. And then penalise pedestrians who still walk on the roads, even after footpath is provided. 

g. The zebra crossing is extension of the footpath. The motorists who are in a hurry and inch ahead little by little, so much that they are almost half way to the signal point, should be charged with Impatience Fine. I think its the curse of the Middle class. We have this in born thing of moving ahead in our lives, that we try that at signals too... How much time do you save by jumping a signal of 45 seconds??


h. Blocks. Let all the delivery tempos, vans, trucks be on the roads from 12 midnight to 6am. They park on roads and take forever to deliver goods, colas, supplies to the retail shops - blocking the traffic on our narrow roads. This will inconvenience a minuscule part of the population, but will make it a lot easier on those who travel on those roads.


i. Parking. I am undecided on the solution for chaos of parking. One drastic solution is, if the buyer doesn't have parking space at home, do not sell the vehicle! The loans have made it so easy, that some homes have 3-4 vehicles without even one allotted parking.  


j. Certain key signals should be 24 hours. And those ones should be followed day and night. 


k. Potholes. The road contractor has to be accountable for the quality of the road. The tender needs to have a guarantee of 20 years without repair. No riders. If there is untimely damage, the contract money should be taken back. 
Well, there's another way to deal with it... I have heard story of activists from a far-right political party in Maharashtra taking the road contractor to a newly laid road and slapping him with chappal for every pothole on the road. Perhaps this should be introduced too, along with the municipal guys who approve payments for shoddy jobs.

l. Leftists: Just like the confused Left of our country, everyone on the road is a confused leftist too. Have you seen people at a traffic signal wanting to go straight, but veering towards the left? And blocking the free left turn? And then giving looks when you honk at them to make way for a free left turn that you will miss because of them blocking the way? Ya, those ones. 

Sometimes i wish to buy a run down Ambassador car, fit a good quality safety harness for the driver, fix good quality guard in the front, and start ramming traffic offenders. Such is the level of road rage that sometimes i carry it to work / home. I do understand that lot of things from the Sadakchhap act are too unrealistic. But we need them - for 10 years, so the next generation doesnt make the same mistakes... 


I hope someone in power takes notice of the proposed plans. And most certainly hope they do introduce a more robust version of this and implement it immediately - before we create an even bigger mess!!

Identifiable Iconic Structures Pune

Okay, i confess. I watch more English movies these days as compared to Hindi or Marathi. But without getting in to the why's of what i watch, let me bring you attention to something i noticed. 

Almost all English movies, especially the Hollywood projects have a set visual grammar. To establish the city in the opening credits, we see some buildings, monuments, bridges, facades, waterfront, beaches that are iconic, and give away the city where the story is set. Times square, San Francisco bay bridge, Eiffel tower, Sears tower, Burj Khalifa, or in 90s the WTC towers. 

Of course, there are these iconic pieces in India too. So one would show Gateway or VT / CST or local trains for Mumbai... Or India gate, Qutub minar for New Delhi, or Howrah bridge for Kolkata.

(Joke: It must have been pretty easy for Byomkesh Bakshi team to show that Kolkata of 1940s as nothing has changed!)

Just last month i saw Marathi movie "Coffee ani barach kahi" which had shots of Shanivarwada and the multiple bridges across Mula river. Ditto with "Gabbar returns" which was shot extensively at Agriculture college and Corinthian club.

I recognised it as Pune, but will everyone in Maharashtra or India who watches these movies know these buildings? 

So i set out to make a list of iconic buildings / landmarks / visuals of Pune. Stuff that you see and the first thing ringing in your head is "This is from Pune"!! 

Considering the historical importance, and rapid real estate growth i thought it will be an "easy task" to list down 30 such buildings / places / structures. 

I was terribly wrong... Here is my list of 15 that come to my mind (in random order): 

1. Shanivarwada; 
2. Fergusson College main building; 
3. Fergusson College Amphitheatre; 
4. University main building; 
5. Agriculture college main building; 
6. Cascading Kumar builders building on East street; 
7. Amanora future towers; 
8. Dadgusheth temple; 
9. Mandai; 
10. Symbiosis vishvabhavan (the one with flags of countries); 
11. PMC building front side; 
12. Geometric software building in Hinjewadi Phase 1; 
13. Z-bridge; 
14. PCMC building; 
15. Garware bridge. 

Can you list down buildings / structures that you think are iconic? One look and first thought is Pune!

Columbidae Colombiformes - The Scary Flight

Don't let the title of this post rattle you... Last week, I had a horrific experience with a "Columbidae Colombiformes" that shook me up pretty bad. As I struggled to get my adrenaline levels back to normal after fighting a prolonged one-on-one with a Columbidae Colombiformes - a.k.a. pigeon, hundreds of questions came to my mind - What purpose does the pigeon serve? Why is it not on the "soon-to-be-extinct" list? Why did Noah allow them on the ark!?

My earliest memory of these birds will be that of a kabootar-khana. Before Pune woke up to the gains of concretisation we had a huge playground where 3 cricket matches could happen simultaneously, without the wicket-keeper of one match and the third man of the other, having to rub their asses together. In one corner of this huge playground, there was a wooden rack with cheap aluminum netting... you know the hexagonal design which keeps things inside. Or outside, whichever way you prefer to see things. This shack housed a roost of pigeons. There were close to two dozen pigeons of all variety and colours. Two local boys from our area, who gave up education after taking the X exam head-on multiple times, ran this kabootar-khana. To put it loosely, it was their hobby. Yes!! These were pet pigeons and these two characters - Shankar and his mate - dedicated a considerable amount of time and money to feed and fly these pigeons. I don't know what the gig was, but I suspect it was to increase the size of their flock. They took great pride in the different call signs that these domesticated pigeons responded to during their flights. Sometimes a stray pigeon would join the flock and will be immediately fed and made a part of the roost. 

Last week it was deadly hot and humid in Pune. It was cloudy all day and night, and the anxiety of when it is going to rain was as unbearable as the humidity. It was nearing midnight, and I was catching up on pre-recorded seasons of Homeland before the new season began. My mobile was in the other room, and when it rang, I paused the set-top box and went inside. It was a brief chat, followed by responding to a few SMSes and WhatsApp, and when I returned to the living room, I saw a fully grown pigeon sitting on my sofa. It was staring at me, unflinchingly. From my first-hand experience of living in Mumbai, I knew that I could not let the pigeon spend the night on my sofa. I was in no mood to wake up to a house full of feathers or worse, pigeon potty. At this point when I was making up my mind, the pigeon too was getting resolute about not leaving the sofa. I tried to startle it with a jump. No reaction. Nothing at all. I switched off the ceiling fan, fully opened the doors of the balcony and changed my angle of attack. I tapped on the sofa a few more times and got its attention. When I beat two pillows together it flew off... into the kitchen. To my horror, it was perched directly above my moderately stocked bar and a lot of glassware. This was fast turning into a crisis. I chased it from that shelf and it settled down a few feet away in the washbasin. Quickly, I took all the bottles and glassware and kept them on the dining table. 

I was losing on multiple fronts. First, getting the pigeon to lift off from the basin was getting very tricky. Second, since I had switched off the fan I was drenched in sweat. And finally, I was getting sentimental about the enemy - what if it is scared of the dark? Or of the dark heavy rain clouds and it somehow knew they were going to pour that night?

Quickly I put these thoughts at bay and renewed my attack inspired by the scene from The Hulk. I switched off all the lights in the house and switched on the ones on the balcony so that it can fly out.  

The steel of the basin helped in creating enough din for the pigeon to lift off without damaging anything else on the counter. Unfortunately, it decided to go back to the other platform and found a nook between water bottles and some plastic hold-alls. It was impossible to get it out from there. Clearly, there was not enough room for it to waddle backwards or fly off! My only option was to move the plastic boxes, which meant going to the bird's extreme proximity. I was just hoping that there is enough time between my moving the box and the bird taking off. Now, remember, I was doing all this in the dark as I expected the bird to fly off to the balcony. 

Luckily for me, the pigeon didn't try any stunt when I created room for it. I returned back to the corridor leading to the bedroom, hoping the pigeon turns around, take flight and exit from the balcony. Things went according to plan and the pigeon flew from the kitchen!! But my happiness was short-lived, as the damn bird decided to attack me! Yes, in a dark house lit only by the yellow light of the balcony streaming in, I was engaged in a one-on-one with a pigeon in a narrow corridor. It was flying at my face level, claws directed at me. I was armed with a hand towel and my free hand, but my arm movement and hence my reach were restricted due to the walls of the corridor. I was cornered with a closed bedroom door behind me, and I did what Sun Tzu had predicted hundreds of years back. 

It was not simply a battle between a pigeon and a man. It was a war for the occupation of the house. It was me fighting to make sure the message goes out loud and clear - that this house will be a human domain... that the pigeons were not welcome to squat here... that they cannot carpet bomb my house. 

In a fight for good vs evil, I drove the evil out of the house. The aerial fight and hand combat lasted a couple of very long minutes. I could make out the outline of the enemy and hear flapping sounds to target my attack. Those two minutes were sufficient to establish my speed of attack. The pigeon understood it was quickly losing this battle despite having the advantage of night vision. After one last flight above my head, it turned around and swung out of the balcony door and sat on my clothesline. I immediately closed all the doors and windows, put on the lights, and switched on the fan. As I sat down on the chair, trying to get my heartbeat to normal, I took stock of the damage done. The water bottles were lying around the counter, and the cocoa powder which I use to make my potent rum cake had not survived the fall and was all over the kitchen floor. There were a few feathers scattered around the house. It looked like a battlefield. 

As I stepped in the shower, I wondered if anyone other than Prem Choudhary from MPK and Raj Malhotra from DDLJ - both fictional characters have benefited from these birds... I felt acute anger towards that woman in our society who throws grains for pigeons in some misplaced sense of good deed of the day and expects the society to clean up the pigeon droppings from her terrace. I felt anger towards the people who built kabootar-khana in Dadar west. 

When I switched off the lights, I thought of the darkness I had created and the victory I had claimed. I was ready to put this experience behind me and call it a night.